Dad vs. Dad

Dear Prudence,
In the past two years it?s become very apparent that my son "Ben,? who is now 8, is probably gay. My wife and I have not discussed this much, as both of us are uncomfortable with the prospect. We have tentatively agreed to let be what will be and to roll with it the best we can. The problem is my father. He is a macho, gruff, and sometimes brutish man, and he has not taken well to my son's effeminate ways. On more than one occasion my father has lectured me about Ben, telling me if something isn't done, ?That boy's going to grow up to be a homo.? He often tells Ben to "man up" and to "stop talking like a sissy.? In response, Ben, who is respectful and well-behaved, has become withdrawn around his grandfather and avoids him. Our house is close to my father's and he helps us financially. He even takes care of our three kids while we?re at work. My wife and I really didn't want to deal with Ben?s likely sexual orientation until he was older, but now my dad is forcing our hand. What should we do?

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